Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Worst A to Z Ever

As reported yesterday, the Sound is off and running with another A to Z.

Sadly, they have returned to a very pedestrian list with few surprises.  It is basically boring.

So what are the best A to Zs out there?  (I know, you are very eager to know this information...)

A to Zs began to proliferate around the time that music went digital.  I don't mean CDs, I mean little files sitting on your computer.  So around 2006 or so.  Just like you can click a button and alphabetize your itunes, so, suddenly, could radio stations.

Obviously, I haven't heard every A to Z in the United States, but the best ROCK one is probably put on by KLOS.

KLOS, normally, is a godawful station, with an unlistenable, crass morning duo ("Heidi and Frank") followed by deadly dull, burned out classic rock tunes.  Listening to KLOS for more than a few hours would easily make someone suicidal.















Here's the old sticker from when KLOS wasn't "classic rock."  It was just "rock," because rock music was still new.  It was way less boring then, because every week there was new music to play.  Note the "1/2" rather than the decimal point, reflecting the tuner dials of the time.

Perhaps due to their longevity, the KLOS A to Z does a good job of reflecting all the various tunes they played since 1969.  Well, not all of them.  But they actually play stuff like April Wine, early 70s Genesis, and the full versions of Pink Floyd's Echoes and Iron Butterfly's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.   (Both of which take up an entire side of an album.)

I find it really compelling, so much so that I have my computer record it overnight to see what I missed.   (I know - major nerd alert here.)

The Sound?.....  Their trick to make their list long is to play overplayed songs from genres OTHER than rock.  Thus you hear Wang Chung.  Wang Chung?  Not rock, sorry.

Perhaps the greatest A to Z was done by a station in New York, CBS-FM.
























CBS-FM is not a rock station, though.  It is an OLDIES station.  It's basically the New York equivalent of K-Earth, and both stations actually began around the same time. (Interestingly, K-Earth was named after the first Earth Day in the early 70s.)  Both stations were an outgrowth of the 50s nostalgia that came in the wake of American Graffiti.  We then had the resurgence of the Beach Boys, the Fonz on Happy Days, and Grease.  So Oldies became popular on the radio....all the way to the early 90s.

In New York, CBS-FM became something of an institution.  Wherever you went in NY, whether it was a pizza parlor, a taxi cab, the hotel lobby...you heard it.   Even when many stations abandoned the 50s and early 60s tunes in favor of exclusively post-Beatles oldies, CBS-FM kept playing lots of "old" oldies.

It was often the #1 station in New York.

Sadly, though, not enough people under 35 were listening to CBS-FM, the demographic advertisers covet.  The powers that be felt that the whole image of the station was too out of date.  The only solution?  "Blow up" the station.  (That is what they call it when a station's format is completely gutted.)

So one morning, New Yorkers awoke to find that their station had been "jacked." Literally. CBS-FM was no longer.  It was now JACK FM.  (Yes, the same JACK FM we have here.) Now, at the time, JACK FM was not the classic rock outlet it is now - it was a really weird hybrid of 70s and 80s pop, novelty tunes, and rock.  So Beastie Boys next to Madonna next to Tone Loc next to Led Zep.  The other gimmick was no DJs.

The reaction?  Not good.  Even Mayor Bloomberg famously said, "I'm never listening to that ________ station again," using colorful language like only a New York mayor would.

Ratings plummeted.

Two years later, CBS-FM returned.  It was a miracle.  The first song back was "Summer Wind" by Frank Sinatra, followed by "Do It Again" by the Beach Boys.  CBS-FM quickly returned to #1 in the ratings, where it typically remains.

Anyway, back to the A to Z.  About a year or two into the "new" CBS-FM, in 2008, they did an A to Z.  This was just a massive one.  It took two weeks to complete.  What made it really unique was that they were playing 50s tunes all the way through 80s tunes.  Of course, the genre is top 40, not rock.  So you're going to be hearing less Rush and Stone Temple Pilots, and more Bee Gees and Abba.

Actually, the diversity of the CBS-FM countdown was what made it fun.  They played everything from Fats Domino and Buddy Holly to.....Wang Chung!  (See, Wang Chung is OK in its place!)  Not too many places you will hear Rapper's Delight and Stairway to Heaven in the same countdown, but anything that hit the top 40 was fair game.

You also get fun juxtapositions like this:


Blackbird - Beatles (LP/1968)
Blinded By The Light - Manfred Mann's Earth Band (1/1976) 
Blowin’ In The Wind - Peter Paul and Mary (2/1963)
Blue Bayou - Linda Rondstadt (3/1977)
Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley (LP/1957)
Blue Moon - Marcels (1/1961)
Blue Monday - Fats Domino (5/1957)
Blue On Blue - Bobby Vinton (3/1963)
Blue Velvet - Bobby Vinton (1/1963)
Blue Suede Shoes - Carl Perkins (2/1956)
Blue Suede Shoes - Elvis Presley (20/1956)
Blueberry Hill - Fats Domino (2/1957)
Bo Diddley - Bo Diddley (1/1955)
Bobby’s Girl - Marcie Blane (3/1962)
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen (9/1976)
Bongo Rock - Preston Epps (14/1959)
Bony Maronie - Larry Williams (14/1957)
Boogaloo Down Broadway - Fantastic Jonny C (7/1967)
Boogie Down - Eddie Kendricks (2/1974)
Boogie Fever - Sylvers (1/1976)
Boogie Nights - Heatwave (2/1977) 
Boogie On Reggae Woman - Stevie Wonder (3/1975)
Boogie Oogie Oogie - Taste of Honey (1/1978)
Boogie Shoes - KC and the Sunshine Band (35/1978)
Boogie Wonderland - EWF with Emotions (6/1979)
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy - Bette Midler  (8/1973)
Book Of Love - Monotones (5/1958)


Or, consider the "rock" section of the countdown (which would be about a week later)

Rock And Roll Part Two - Gary Glitter (7/1972)
Rock And Roll All Nite - Kiss (12/1976)
Rock And Roll Heaven - Righteous Brothers (3/1974)
Rock And Roll Is Here To Stay - Danny and the Juniors (19/1958)
Rock And Roll Lullaby - BJ Thomas (15/1972)
Rock And Roll Music - Chuck Berry (8/1957)
Rock And Roll Music - Beatles (LP/1965)
Rock And Roll Music - Beach Boys (5/1976)
Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley and the Comets (1/1955)
Rock Me Amadeus - Falco (1/1986)
Rock Me Gently - Andy Kim (1/1974)
Rock On - David Essex (5/1974)
Rock On - Michael Damian (1/1989)
Rock Steady - Aretha Franklin (9/1971)
Rock The Boat - Hues Corporation (1/1974)
Rock This Town - Stray Cats (9/1982)
Rock With You - Michael Jackson (1/1980)
Rock Your Baby - George McCrae (1/1974)
Rockin’ Me - Steve Miller (1/1976)
Rocket Man - Elton John (6/1972)
Rockin Down The Highway - Doobies
Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu - Johnny Rivers (6/1973)
Rockin’ Robin - Bobby Day (2/1958)
Rockin’ Robin - Michael Jackson (2/1972)
Rocky Mountain High - John Denver (9/1973)
Rocky Mountain Way - Joe Walsh (23/1973)

Tell me those aren't interesting songs to hear next to each other!  I especially like hearing all the different versions back to back.  (Three Rock and Roll Musics, for instance.)

Since that first countdown, CBS-FM has watered down their A to Z every year, but it's still fun to listen to.  They usually do it around the 4th of July.

Now, what would it be like if a station tried to play EVERY song, and they went back to the 1920s, and went up to the present day?  Well, no regular radio station has.  But it WAS done for a few years annually, in the 00s, but it wasn't an over-the-air station....